So this is Christmas..

It's that time of year again. I can't believe it came up so fast. Christmas always makes me think.
Usually about what I have either failed to accomplish in the past year or the bullets I have dodged. I rarely get to Christmas time and think, "Wow, I've finished everything I set out to do this year!" I don't know anyone who does because if I did I would be tying them to a streetlight and making them spill their guts on how they did it. Just once I want to get to Christmas/New Years and not have a list a mile long of shit to do. It is nice, however, to get to see my family.
This was Christmas 2006. There has been an addition of 2 since then.
That reminds me...the Christmas Picture. Please tell me that other families go through this torture as well...and that it's not just us.
We probably spend a good hour just trying to set up a shot, get everyone together, make sure no one is making any weird faces and finally take a gazillion pictures because, God knows, we need plenty to choose from. And of course it is with all 5 cameras, which we then systematically dump onto each individual lap top so that everyone has copies. Regardless of this action, we will, inevitably, get a framed picture from Mom for our birthday or even Christmas next year to remind us of this joyous time.
I love my family. I love pictures of my family. And honestly, I don't mind taking pictures with my family. I just wish the process was not so painful. I think if we hired someone to come in and set everything up, take the pictures, decide which were best, clean up everything and leave, it might be different. But, alas, who has the money for that nowadays? Besides, I think our parents enjoy the torture of it all. Payback for our years as teenagers.

Bring it Barack!

I am so ready for Obama-nation. President Bush gets the award for being able to think fast enough to dodge a shoe but not fast enough to save the country's economy. Man, give me a pair of heels and one shot..I'll hit the MF-er. Right between the eyes! WHACK! Secret service gave the man a second chance but he missed him with the other shoe too! Most the people I know are struggling to keep their jobs, much less get Christmas gifts. I am so blessed to be in the position I'm in. If I were still in New York...I don't know if I would be able to survive without hangin' from a pole. (Stripper reference, not firefighter) It must be nice to be Bush. Get a job--totally f-it up--leave a big mess for someone else to clean up--get off Scott-free with tax payers paying for his secret service. Nice. Ass-hole!
I am ready for Barack to make things better. It's a NEW DAY!

Let me just say...

I am not bitter. I am actually in a very healthy, non-committed, open and honest dating situation. Okay, so I'm indecisive but I am not bitter. I am cautiously optimistic. I love LOVE. I think it's great. Most of the people I love, are in love with someone. In fact, every female I'm friends with is either married or in a relationship and I think that it's great. I was not condemning LOVE in my prior blog but rather deciphering the real from the fake. In my very healthy, non-committed, open and honest dating situation I feel completely comfortable. He treats me like a lady and I respect him for the MAN that he is. There is no pressure and therefore, no expectations. He tells it to me straight and vice-versa. None of this, 'I can't breathe without you' crap. Of course he can breathe without me. He functioned just fine before I came along and I expect he'll do just fine whether I stay or go. No expectations..no drama...no problem. (It helps that we have a connection and find each other extremely attractive.)
I say this now in the throngs of the "beginning". The "beginning" is the stage in all relationships when you're floating on adrenaline and that uncontrollable human desire to be close to someone. That's the stage where, if you're not careful, you can make promises you never intend to keep. Happens all the time. People are together for a few weeks and they believe the sun rises and sets with the object of their affection. The "middle" is when the fire starts to sputter and the masks all come down. Shoes start dropping all over the place. Baggage gets brought out into the living room and thrown open for the unpacking. Pet-peeves start to frustrate and before you know it you're at "the end". Now, "the end" can go one of two ways. Either the "middle" was difficult but worth it and you get married [this is a broad term including those who share health insurance], living happily ever after. (Not factoring in those who marry and then divorce...that falls under category two as far as I'm concerned.) Or the "middle" was just enough of an eye opener to teach you what you don't want in a relationship and you cut and run.
There are few exceptions to this "cycle". One is, what I like to call, the SUCKER PUNCH. This is when something comes out of left-field and hits you square between the eyes. This can happen at any of the aforementioned stages. The test of a true relationship is surviving the SUCKER PUNCH. If you have ever been hit with this, you know what I mean. However, there is a chance that there were signs an SP was coming and we, as hopeful humans, ignore them. The character of a person can be assessed in his/her ability to get back up from one of these knock outs.

That is my two cents on relationships.

I believe in LOVE but only the love that stands through the tests of life...and, sorry John Mayer, if you're gonna feed me a bunch of whiny crap you are not the man for me. Years ago you would have been but that's what these "cycles" teach us.

Keep movin' on up!

A thought about love songs...

Have you ever heard John Mayer's song "Come Back to Bed"? I was listening to it the other day, (Side-note: I don't really like John Mayer's love songs anymore due to this one specific lyric) and I know that he is a womanizer without any real talent but he was nice to listen to when I wanted to feel sexy. Nevertheless, about halfway through the song he sings:
'No, I won't sleep through this/ I survive on the breath you are finished with'
Maybe I'm getting too old because I think I really found this romantic in my younger years but now it makes me cringe. Does anyone else think he slept through biology? I want to yell at the computer.."Uhh..no you won't because the breath I'm finished with is carbon dioxide so unless you are a ficus, you're fucked!" I get the sentiment and I'm not embittered by a recent break-up, I just think it's lame. Give it to me straight. Just say, "I'm a creep and I'm sorry" Like Syl Johnson in "I Hate that I Walked Away". The chorus starts with
'You got the right to be disgusted/After all you trusted me and I was just a fool'
Perfect. To the point and it validates my feelings...much better than this ideological bullshit that men are expected to spout nowadays. No wonder the divorce rate is so high. Blame John Mayer and those like him. MEN: If you want to know how to talk to a woman, listen to the greats: Sam Cooke, Jimmie Ruffin, Otis Redding, Syl Johnson and the like. Forget that 'I'll never let your head/ Hit the bed/without my hand behind it'...crap. That's not what real love is made of. Real love is 'To say, it's time to go/And she says, yes I know/But just stay one minute mo'/That's where it's at'

Batman vs Ironman

I recently had a debate with the guy I'm dating about who would win in a fight...Batman or Ironman. The fact that he chose Batman was not really the thing that bothered me but rather that he said Batman was smarter than Ironman. I know that my prejudice against DC comics has tainted my view but I was willing to relent that Superman was indeed stronger than Ironman, however, Batman is in NO WAY smarter than Ironman. If it weren't for Batman's butler, he would be SOL. "Could you take her home Alfred?" and "Can you fix the suit Alfred?" and "What am I going to do Alfred?" WA-WA-WA. Tony Stark has no Alfred. The closest he has is Virginia Potts..not quite the same. Ironman works with a piece of shrapnel in his chest, dangerously close to killing him. Batman has overcome his fear of bats, becoming one with the bat. OOOOH. Ironman would absolutely win in a fight and he is indeed the smarter of the two.
I'm interested to hear what you think.

Ahh...Facebook

I recently joined Facebook.com, which I was hesitant to do because my relationship with Myspace sort of fizzled out, and I find it intriguing. It amazes me how many hours I could spend looking for people. Everyone from people that I haven't seen or heard from in years to my family members I see in the next room..everyone seems to be on facebook. I joined two days ago and I already have 7 friends. That's another thing...it is misleading to call the people you are connected to on the internet your "friends". If we don't talk regularly and if you haven't seen me in years...we aren't "friends", we know each other. Maybe at one point we were friends and when we see each other again we could reacquaint ourselves but currently..not friends. I think it is to build confidence in us by thinking we have lots of friends when we really just know a lot people. Call me crazy but I miss conversations. Actual conversations, in which people have to speak to one another, using real language (not this ttyl, tmi, omg, lol, ttfn-crap) with real emotion. Back in the day you could at least count on telemarketers to talk to but now, recordings call me and ask me about my morgage. Soon we will have a completely emotionless society with children who can only communicate electronically. Sorry..my cynical side is showing. Back to Facebook. Here's a question: What if high school really sucked for you and seeing all those people triggers some sort of nervous breakdown forcing you into a mental institution? Could you sue Facebook for damages? They should put a signing clause into the registration stating that Facebook is not libel for any stress those f-ing bitches put you through and that by joining you are waving your right to keep your skeletons in your closet.
Ah well, at least now my family and friends have something to look at...after reading my blog...and checking their email from me...and listening to their voicemail. The internet...you can log off any time you want, but you can never leave!

The age of internet

So..the Schwartz/Stockton household has had nein internet for the past few days and my, have things been tense. I don't know what we did before the ability to look up any and every question we had because now the inability to do so is making us all a little cranky. Fortunately, we are back online and feeling much more connected. I found it rather nice not to check my email for a few days, but it was difficult to do without my friend GOOGLE. I think everyone should have to experience a few days without internet a month, forcing us to give up our dependancy on the information super highway. It's clearly an addiction and it can tear families apart. (that last bit was to solidify my place in the family as the dramatic one)

In addition...I am thinking about going back to school to become a Montessori teacher. Any thoughts? My intention is to follow the girls as far in life as possible. I think their first day of Kindergarten, I will have to be removed from the school grounds in a straight jacket. They are getting so big. Maitlyn walked tonight, not stepped, but actually put steps together in a line to make a walk towards me. It was a pretty cool sight. Andrea and I were very impressed.

I'm off to scratch the information itch...