Montana Moments

My family and I recently went on a vacation to Montana to celebrate my Dad's early 60th birthday. Anyone who knows me knows that I tend to severely injure myself when I snowboard. The first year I did it, I hurt my ankle. Second, I hurt my knee. Third, I got a concussion and last year, I dislocated my shoulder. Snowboarding has never been something I have done with ease. This year I mastered the mountain! I went out with my sister and Andrea, with the patience of a saint, instructed me in a language I could understand. I managed to find the balance in my body and after a few runs I was actually starting to see what all the fuss was about. My legs were burning, my abs were sore and I was having fun! I was going fast but I was in control...it was awesome. At one point I actually felt like I could do it all day long, I didn't, but I felt like I could. I went out again the next day, feeling confident and having fun. Falling only a few times, I was elated about my progress. In years passed I had spent more time on my ass in the snow than I had on my board. After a great day on the mountain I decided to reward myself with a cold beer and a dip in the hot tub. I was feeling just fine until about midnight when I suddenly started to itch. And itch. The worst part was I was sitting in a bar with my brother and unable to scratch or have him look at it until we got home. So, I drank more. Finally after stumbling home in the snow I got a good look at it and knew for sure.....I had hot tub folliculitis. It is an infection that is caused from being in a hot tub that hasn't been cleaned properly or used the appropriate amount of chlorine. It causes red bumps all over your body that itch like chicken pox. I spent the next day in the medical clinic getting some antibiotics and then it was home...to bed. I was so bummed. I had finally gotten a taste of what it was like to enjoy snowboarding but ended up in the clinic anyway. Well, there is always next year and at least now I know never to get into another hot tub. Good news is the folliculitis is gone now and I have a new outlook on conquering the mountain.

Thinking about Drinking

So here's my dilemma...I am sort of domestic without the benefits of domesticity, thus I resort to regaining my youth and independence with alcohol. However, I am no longer a spring chicken and alcohol doesn't quite flow through me the same way it used to. In fact, I think I can actually hear my liver screaming after three beers. I don't get "drunk" like I used to either. A six-pack would have made me happy-go-lucky-Laura, now it just makes me sleepy. Now, if I have half a bottle of tequila...I'm sloppy-slurry-Laura as opposed to my younger days of dancing the night away. My friends and I had a 40oz to Freedom party last weekend and played a game called Edward-40-Hands. This is a very interesting game of torture in which you duct tape 40's to your hands and drink til they are gone. I love the idea and, in theory, I should be able to handle it but the next day I woke up wishing I had duct taped my mouth shut instead. My head was pounding and my body felt 20 lbs heavier. I used to drink, smoke and use lots of drugs...all the time...and never felt so crappy the next day. Maybe it is because I only do it on occasion that my body rejects it so much more. Or I'm getting old. Either way, I have to find a solution. Maybe I should drink really expensive alcohol to avoid the hangover or drink cheap alcohol more often...or stop drinking. I'm interested in any feedback. I know there are a few alch-ies out there who can help me find the balance or at least recommend a good hangover remedy.

Recovery...

Yesterday was the twin's first birthday and I never thought I would be so emotional about it. I must have cried at least twice yesterday. The girls didn't cry and Andrea didn't cry...but Aunt LaLa was oh so very emotional. I think it was a combination of things. We spent a lot of time and energy getting ready for the party, so that by the time it actually came to fruition it felt like a great big sigh of relief. Also, seeing the girls' birth video after the party reminded me of the first time I met them. Please remember that falling in love with these two girls changed my life in every way. I was a different person a year ago and in a way, I feel like I have been growing right along side them. Watching them learn to crawl, walk, chew, clap, communicate, laugh, play...words cannot describe my joy, so my tears had to. I managed to keep it together until after all the guests had left (38 people in all) and then crashed.
Today I decided to devote the entire day to myself. I woke up late and stayed in my pajamas til shorty after 1pm. Then I decided that I would spend the money on a much needed personal spa day. I went to get my eyebrows threaded...a technique I found in LA to be much better than waxing but more painful. Then ventured to the nail place to get a pedicure and a bikini wax. Those of you who have had bikini waxes know that this experience is only slightly less violating than the female doctor. It is especially uncomfortable when the beautician tries to strike up conversation. I have learned to combat this by reading a magazine while the torture is taking place. I made it through two issues of OK! and an Allure before my day was over.
I am ready to embrace my week feeling very girl-y and rested.

This one goes out to my single ladies....hello? single ladies?

When you have been single for as long as I have been single...you start to develop interesting habits. For example, for the past week I have been doing laundry, folding it and putting it nicely in the space next to me on my bed. It's a little weird. I sleep on half my bed while my clothes occupy the other half. I could very well put my folded laundry into the drawers where it belongs but instead I just leave it next to me. What makes it more strange is that when I get up in the morning, I go to the drawers for my clothes for the day. I have done this periodically in my two and half years of singleness. I'm not sure why. I'm sure psychologists would say that I am filling some sort of void but I am really happy in my single-hood. (As you can see, I am testing out which word for "single" best fits my situation) It's not as if I am lazy either. I go through the trouble of washing my clothes, folding them and organizing them into categories, I just leave them on "their" side of the bed. Maybe that's it. Maybe in all my singularity (by far my favorite) , I just need a side. When you belong to a couple you each have a side. Side of the bed, side of sink, side of the closet, etc., but when you are single, every side is your side so it doesn't feel like a side. I could have used "side" less in that last sentence but you get my point. When you don't share anything it's hard to feel like you are part of something bigger than yourself and then your world becomes very small. So for now....I have a side and my clothes have a side. Maybe I should get a dog?

Success!

The migraine is over now...thank you all for your positive thoughts and solidarity.

The thing about Migraines....

So if you have ever had a migraine you know what I am about to write. They are the worst. Depending on the type of headache it can feel like Freddy Kruger is scratching the inside of your face off or Thor is putting down the hammer on the inside of your skull. The worst part, there is very little you can do until it passes. I stay curled up in my room with the shades down and the lights off for hours. Sometimes I just sit in a super hot shower and cry. The problem with crying is that it just makes the headache worse. You want to cry because it hurts so bad but if you do you are just asking for more pain. If, perchance, you make it through the to-cry-or-not-to-cry stage, a whole new symptom presents itself. The nausea. This is the part I absolutely hate the most. You want to throw up because you feel so sick but you know that if you do your pain intensifies exponentially. Most people get a headache after throwing up so if you already have one, good luck. On the other hand, if you don't throw up you have to sit with this sickening feeling on top of your already pounding brain. You can't really writhe in pain because movement makes the world spin and you can scream because sound echos inside your head. If you are like me, you start to lose circulation in your extremities and those pin and needles just add to the aggravation. The medication that doctors dole out for this kind of pain can often make things worse. Besides, the side effects are things like..blood clot, stroke, vomiting, dizziness, etc. Why would I want to risk any of those things when I am already in excruciating pain? Why don't they just say, "This will either help you or kill you. Good Luck!" If you have never had a migraine, consider yourself lucky. One day they will develop some sort of helmet you can put on that sucks out the migraine like a vacuum cleaner. Until then, my fellow sufferers, keep on truckin'.

Australia

Australia is by far one of the WORST movies I have ever seen. I wish I could get the three hours of my life back. It was like watching a movie with multiple personality disorder. The opening credits mention something about the Stolen Generation being the mixed children in Australia that were stolen from their parents...so OK, it's about that. Nope.
In the first third of the movie it was about cattle driving. Awesome, a western. Nope. Then it is about the relationship that Nicole Kidman's character develops with the (for lack of a better term) "stolen" orphan boy and the cattle driver. Not quite. Then it's about World War II and Japan's invasion of the country. Maybe. The best part of the movie happened in the first half hour when Hugh Jackman took his shirt off and poured water all over himself. (Sorry...but he is totally on my list and that one moment could sustain me for days) I am not sure what the studios were thinking nominating this for any type of award. Nicole Kidman looked like she was sick through the whole film and her lips were big and puffy like she had done botox. Honestly, give the lady a sandwich! She looks like she is one carrot sick away from death. If the camera adds ten pounds then she must be able to see her own organs. There were moments when she and Hugh Jackman were making love and I swear I thought he was going to break her just by lying on top of her. She used to be bigger. Far and Away, To Die For....she used to have an ass. See what Hollywood does to you.
Hugh Jackman is beautiful. He was the only reason I didn't stop watching but by hour two and a half, even the eye candy gets old. I respect the man as an actor but there was no saving this movie. He could have done a tap dance naked. That might have done it. Considering the insane plot line, I think they could have fit it in somewhere. Ridiculous amounts of money were poured into this film and it tanked. Completely fell short of all it's expectations. I can say with great certainty that I enjoyed The English Patient more than this movie. If this wins an academy award for anything other than scenery, I will have lost all faith in the movie business.

Sorry Hugh, but you have been demoted down the list for making such a poor business decision.